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I passionately and deeply love the Earth. I have felt this for as long as I can remember, and it has called me and guided me throughout my life: the sense of a deeper meaning, that there is a big picture from which positive change is guided, and that we all need to do what is in our heart’s calling to keep this planet a beautiful place for all life.
I grew up in Melbourne, Australia with my single mum. My favourite place and sanctuary was in the branches of our jacaranda tree, from where I would look through the beautiful green fronds to the sky and feel the loving, living presence of the Earth. From my teens this presence became an inner drive to understand what life was, what created meaning and purpose.
I studied at Melbourne University, obtaining a Bachelor of Science in zoology and physical education, but all the time I was searching. I explored many spiritual traditions and esoteric practices, none of which called me until age 25 when I met Ananda, an amazing heart-centred, pragmatic, deeply spiritual and wise person. I instantly recognised her, and knew that working with her was the path I had been seeking.
Then followed an extraordinary three decades of immensely fulfilling training, development, study and service in the heart-centred western esoteric tradition that Ananda taught. The work was focussed on Earth healing, study and development to create conscious change, personally and globally. I learned and taught, became an ordained minister, and found fulfilment of that deep connection and love I have for the Earth and nature. I worked closely with Ananda as her assistant and program coordinator, a role I deeply cherished. At Ananda’s urging, I began writing transmissions in the late 90’s.
While my spiritual life was full, my personal life was challenged. I married and had a son, then lost my grandmother, my mother, and then my marriage, within the next three years. My health began to slowly decline.
In 1999 came a significant event, when Ananda asked Brenton and I to go to Adelaide, to teach and work there. Our working relationship quickly bloomed into a loving partnership. From Adelaide we moved to Canberra, and from there travelled extensively to teach and run retreats in Australia and internationally.
Life was full, but my health continued to decline, and despite trying every path I could find through western and natural medicine for many years, by 2013 I became so unwell with chronic fatigue, migraines and a number of other health challenges that I had to stop all my consulting work and our spiritual work, and I wondered if I would even survive the year.
After ten years of deep searching for answers, I finally came to learn that the cause behind my otherwise unexplainable, and undiagnosable, physical illnesses was complex post-traumatic stress from my early childhood, something I would never have believed, and certainly found no reason to consider before I became so unwell.
We had to sell and leave our home, and took to the road with our cat, house-sitting and farm-caretaking over the next 3 years. This was a particularly tough and challenging period, while at the same time imbued with the inner knowing that it was a journey of transformation we had to take. And we were blessed with being able to stay in beautiful places that brought some peace.
During this time, and for some years after, I have worked hard to become conscious of, and re-balance, the strong but unconscious psychological and physiological patterns created by my childhood trauma response. Almost everything I thought I knew and understood about myself and my life was shattered, as I peeled away the layers of my conditioned self, and saw the impacts and needs beneath. I have needed every ounce of my spiritual strength, insight and healing knowledge, and the understanding gained from working with an excellent Hakomi therapist, to dig deeply and find my way through this. None of it would have been possible without the care, healing and depth of understanding from my wonderful husband; I wouldn’t have made it without him.
Through our house-sitting travels we spent time in the Northern Rivers, a beautiful part of Australia, and have been blessed to be able to settle there in a little home not far from the sea, from where we write and do our spiritual work.
In 2018, I fulfilled a 40-year old interest and completed a Certificate IV in Permaculture, and I love to spend time in my small garden and nearby community food forest, connecting to our beautiful Earth, and continuing to learn ways to live sustainably and lovingly in our world.
In late 2019 I finally felt I turned a corner with my health, and was only then able to return to my love and passion for our spiritual work. Although I still have health challenges that I continue to work on, I can see the light of day after this long and dark night. I knew already 30 years ago the journey I wanted and needed to take, little did I know how deep I would have to go to get there! But through the challenges, I have gained a much deeper and more nuanced understanding of life, heart and spirit than I could have ever imaged, and I am grateful for the transformative journey it has gifted.
Every life is a journey. The best thing is that in heart and soul we can find out the meaning of that journey, and take our steps with more insight, care and hope. Now I am on a new phase of my journey, which is giving wonderful opportunities for continued growth and service, and that brings fulfillment and great joy to my heart.
I hope that what we share through Heart for Change can help you on your journey, and help you find joy on your own heart path. 🙂